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Autistic children face unique challenges in forming and maintaining relationships with their peers. They are also more exposed to peer bullying (Morales-Hidalgo et al., 2024). These challenges are particularly pronounced during school years, where social norms are rigid and peer dynamics are complex. Autistic children often experience exclusion and rejection, leading to greater loneliness than their allistic peers (Tsou et al., 2025). Further examination is therefore needed to help support autistic children in schools to ensure that they are included, feel safe, and have opportunities to make friendships.

Our survey invited 225 autistic adults to look back at their time at school. The autistic community played an active role in disseminating the study, ensuring that the research remained grounded in the lived experiences of those it aimed to represent. Although the majority of participants were based in the United Kingdom, additional responses were received from across Europe, as well as the United States, contributing to a broader, though still western perspective.

Friendships

We discovered that 90 per cent of participants reported difficulty making friends at school, and 91 per cent felt misunderstood by their peers. A statistical analysis also showed that participants who reported difficulty making friends were significantly more likely to report feeling misunderstood by their peers. A common theme across responses was the small size of friendship circles. Many of our participants reported having just one or two friends, while some shared that they had no close friends at all. One participant described feeling ‘like an alien on this planet who speaks with a different language’. Others echoed this sense of disconnection, using words like ‘outcast’, ‘different’ and ‘invisible’.

Despite these challenges, some participants did form friendships, but these were often through shared focused interests. Clubs, hobbies and niche passions became lifelines. One respondent recalled finding community in a school ‘bio club’, where students with similar neurodivergent traits gathered. These shared interests acted as social bridges, offering a sense of belonging that was otherwise missing from their school experiences.

‘These findings highlight the urgent need for schools to take proactive steps to create inclusive school environments that prevent bullying, educate students about neurodiversity, and support the wellbeing of autistic students.’

Bullying

One of the most troubling findings in this study was the prevalence of bullying. Participants described being targeted for their differences, often finding solace only in small groups of fellow ‘geeks’ or other marginalised students. One participant recalled a ‘mutual protection geek club’, a makeshift sanctuary in an otherwise hostile environment.

The effects of being bullied for perceived differences are not just immediate, they can have long-lasting psychological impacts. This is especially concerning for autistic children, who are at a much higher risk of being targeted due to differences in behaviour and social communication (Junttila et al., 2024). Research has also shown a strong link between experiences of bullying and increased risk of suicidality among autistic individuals (Holden et al., 2020). These findings highlight the urgent need for schools to take proactive steps to create inclusive school environments that prevent bullying, educate students about neurodiversity, and support the wellbeing of autistic students.

Recommendations

We recommend that schools engage with promoting inclusivity and educating both staff and students about neurodiversity. Schools can support autistic students’ sense of belonging by recognising the value of focused interests; these are not distractions but potential pathways to engagement, learning, and social connection. Most importantly, schools need to address bullying proactively and understand that autistic children are far more likely to be at risk.

Teachers play a vital role in shaping inclusive classrooms. Could you integrate a lesson on neurodiversity or create a structured social activity that brings students together? Small actions like these can reduce stigma, foster empathy, and help stimulate mutual understandings.

References

Holden, R., Mueller, J., McGowan, J., Sanyal, J., Kikoler, M., Simonoff, E., Velupillai, S., & Downs, J. (2020). Investigating bullying as a predictor of suicidality in a clinical sample of adolescents with autism spectrum disorder.ÌýAutism Research, 13(6), 988–997. Ìý

Junttila, M., Kielinen, M., Jussila, K., Joskitt, L., Mäntymaa, M., Ebeling, H., & Mattila, M. L. (2024). The traits of Autism Spectrum Disorder and bullying victimisation in an epidemiological population.ÌýEuropean Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 33(4), 1067–1080.

Morales-Hidalgo, P., Voltas, N., & Canals, J. (2024). Self-perceived bullying victimisation in pre-adolescents on the autism spectrum: EPINED study.ÌýAutism, 28(11), 2848–2857.

Tsou, Y.-T., Nasri, M., Li, B., Blijd-Hoogewys, E.M.A., Baratchi, M., Koutamanis, A., & Rieffe, C., (2025). Social connectedness and loneliness in school for autistic and allistic children. Autism, 29(1), 87–101.